(no subject)

[evolutionaryimperative]

The next morning Sylar had gotten up and called Mohinder, delighting himself as he told the Indian man about how they had massacred Matt and Janice. (Scandanlizing Mohinder was still one of his favorite pasttimes). Mohind agreed to come get Matty as soon as Sylar gave him this ultimatum: "Either come pick him up, or Elle and I am going to raise him as our own little protege."

Mohinder had quickly told him he would there and then hung up.

Meanwhile, the serial killer was currently in the kitchen, heating up a bottle of milk. Matty had woken up a while ago, crying and hungry. It was almost strange how easily Sylar slipped into the role of changing diapers and burping the kid and just generally taking care of it. He told himself it was just residual feelings from having been stuck in Matt for so long.

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[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She whimpered fitfully, her trembling arms falling to her elbows as she rode him faster, desperately, her eyes clenched tightly shut, imagining his words. "I want you to hurt me. I want you to make me so wet I'd let you do anything to me," she said, her voice strained and small. She was tensed up so tight she was sure she could come at any second.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"I want to do everything to you, fuck you everywhere," He gasped, almost painfully close now as he bucked his hips up to meet her strokes. "I want to fuck your mouth, your pussy, your ass, everything. I want all of you. I want you to be submissive to only me."

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

"I am," she sobbed, pressing down her clit, just like he would, as he pounded up into her so hard. "I want your cock everywhere," she cried, just as the first wave of her orgasm possessed her body. Her voice was hoarse and she had to press her face into the pillows as her body curved and her pussy clenched tight around him.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He couldn't even verbalize a response as he thrusted up into as her walls crashed around him. It was enough to push him over the edge and he came, hard, digging his nails into her back and drawing blood as his seed spilled inside of her.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She collapsed onto his chest, shaking, rubbing against him with each pulsing aftershock. She hummed his name, crawled up to press her lips to his neck. She couldn't imagine how hard she'd come when they actually did any of those things, and she shivered at the thought.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

If it was this good when they were just thinking about doing all these things together, he couldn't wait until he actually did. He smiled, leaning up to press a kiss against Elle's lips as he thoughts about it.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Lazily, she returned the kiss, and then dropped her head to his chest again with a spent sigh. "Gabriel?" she whispered quietly after a moment.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Yes?" He asked curiously, running his fingers idly through her hair.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

"Tell me why you brought me back again," she asked, her voice hushed, concentrating on some point on the wall with bated breath. Despite all the times he already had, she hadn't ever really listened. Just argued, picked it apart, denied it. Even now she couldn't wrap her mind around it, didn't want to. But maybe she was starting to want to. A little.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He tensed up at her question. He never really answered it before. He always kind of skirted around the truth before, but he didn't want to now. He took a deep breath before saying. "Because I love you....and I missed you. I realized what a mistake it was to kill you."

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Her breath mirrored his, and she exhaled with a bog whoosh of air, shifting over him. That wasn't really an answer. Or at least, not the type she was looking for. "But... why?" she questioned softly. "Why was it a mistake?" She paused, pressing her lips together. "Why did you kill me in the first place?" she whispered. She loved him, then. She was with him, then. Had his trust turned so dramatically? Was it out of paranoia? Why had he said all those awful things?

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

His dark eyes met her blue ones and he couldn't tear them away, even if he wanted to. "Because I was scared," He murmured in a soft, almost inaudible voice. "I was so sure you were lying to me just like everyone else was."

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Her head tilted up with her eyes, and she was so afraid that she might blink and miss something in his hard, bottomless dark eyes. "You said it was temporary," she muttered. Her eyes started to sting, to shine with tears. The memory of his words tore into her skull much like he had. "Why did you say all those things?" It just didn't add up, like puzzle pieces in the wrong puzzle.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"I was angry," He said simply. "I had been trying to be good...and for what? Liars? To be manipulated? Used. I wanted to be like how I was before." He felt awkward talking about this. IT didn't even really make sense to him either, not anymore.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

But it only felt like days ago to Elle. Like they'd found each other again, like he'd saved her, cured her. Loved her. Killed her. Everything was vivid and real, and he was different. Different from the man she'd chased, and the one who had kissed her in that abandoned house. Everything was different, and suddenly she felt more alone than ever.

"Like what?" Her brows furrowed.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Untouchable. Completely independent. I didn't want any connections to Gabriel anymore. Sylar was stronger, more independent. Sylar didn't need anything. Killing you...was a way to kill Gabriel as well." His arms tightened around her as he spoke. Why had she asked about all of this now, when things had been going so well?

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She looked away, both troubled and confused, to some spot next to him, parting her lips to breathe in measured, wavering breaths, her eyes finally returning to his. "Do you--do you want to be Gabriel again?" she asked, trying to make sense of his arms tightening around her, of why he'd brought her back.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Not exactly," He muttered softly. Because he didn't want to be just Gabriel. Gabriel was weak, the part of himself that was much easier to manipulate. "But I can't deny that he's part of me either. The more I tried to separate myself, I lost myself."

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

"So you brought me back," she murmured. "For what? To fix it?" To fix himself? Her stomach turned, because even when he'd said in the car it was because he cared about her, she hadn't believed a word of it. She was still afraid of being a tool for him. Something that he wanted around to make him feel better.

When would he change his mind again, like he had before? And here she was, almost trusting him again. Was she an idiot?

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Partly," He admitted softly. There was no reason to lie to her about things. "But the reason why I brought you back and didn't just try to find someone else to be my anchor was because I love you." He felt her tense up in his arms and he felt sick. What was he supposed to do? Was he being too honest? Not honest enough? He was at a loss.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Those words again. They made feel hollow every time they passed his lips. Like someone had gutted her and sewed her back up with a smile. Would she ever believe them? Ever feel anything but an agonizing hopeful pang she forced herself to squash?

"That wasn't enough before," she said simply, hardening herself. "Just because you want it now, doesn't mean you won't change your mind later."

And that's what it was, wasn't it? She flicked her blank gaze down to his neck, and stared. It was why she'd wanted him to prove he loved her, because it wasn't only about love. It was about trust.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"I know better than I did before," He almost hissed in response, tensing up himself now; his shoulders knotted together. "I'm not going to kill you again, Elle. And if you can't believe me, if you can't trust me, then why are you here with me?"

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," she whispered. For some reason, his anger just made her shrink further into herself, or maybe it was because of his sudden, fierce promise. He sounded like he meant it, and that was too scary for her to dwell on right now. Believing him was dangerous. She laid there instead, limp in his arms, not wanting to fight, to talk anymore.

She didn't know why she was there, why she hadn't just left the moment he gave her the opportunity. And she'd had so many afterward, too. She didn't know what chained her so tightly to him.

She couldn't think of those words.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Well, maybe you should figure that out," He murmured, pulling away from her now and getting out of the bed. From the corner of his eyes he saw the laptop, still open to the page with all the stuff they had talked about buying together.

How had they gone from that to this so quickly? He didn't even know.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She wanted to grab at him to keep him there, but she hadn't the strength, and he was already gone anyway. It wasn't until a moment later that she felt angry at his suggestion--why should she feel guilty for giving him a non-answer? How dare he think she should owe him anything after everything he did to her?

It surged in her chest, and she reached over to shut the laptop too hard, because she couldn't stand to look at all the things they wanted to buy together, to use. What was she thinking? There was no them, and that shouldn't hurt so badly. But it did, so hard she ached, and she dragged herself off the bed and padded into the bathroom.

The tub was big and she immediately curled up inside, turning the water on hot and letting it fill up. Her back was stinging and so were her thighs, her breasts, and her neck was scabbed over. The water just made them burn like coals, like little painful reminders that she'd told him she was his.

She wasn't.

So why was she crying?