(no subject)

[evolutionaryimperative]

Gabriel slept well for the first time in ages. His arms were wrapped around Elle's waist, keeping her close to him. Between the alcohol and the physical exertion he found himself sleeping in much later than he normally ever would. But eventually the sun pouring into the room caused him to stir, his eyes opening slowly.

It took him a moment to realize where he was. It wasn't his room. It wasn't even his apartment, which was strange because he pretty much never slept anywhere other than his apartment. But after a moment or two it came back to him. Running into Elle at the take out place, coming to her apartment, drinking the beers and barely eating. But what he remembered the most was the intense feeling between them, how they had explored each other's bodies so thoroughly.

He knew eventually she would stir and they would have to talk and it probably didn't mean anything in the long run but for now he just wanted to lie here a little longer, holding her close. Like they were more to one another than just casual acquaintances.

Comments

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

It was strange, how she didn't panic as she woke up. Elle always slept in late--because of her job, because of her habits--but the sad truth was she hardly fell asleep in her bed. She liked having the TV on as if it could drown out her loneliness. Sometimes she thought she should get a puppy.

But she did sleep in her bed, sometimes. So when she woke up, she wasn't surprised. What was surprising was the overwhelming warmth of someone else, holding her to him close and tight.

Gabriel.

The memories washed over her as her eyes fluttered open, and that's when she panicked. How she had invited him over and cuddled and made out on the couch like teenagers, and those two beers that had made her silly enough to talk about him smiling.

She tried not to think about his mouth on her, how he had teased her and how she had teased him. How he came and how he had pulled her to him tight, just like they were now, and kissed her until they fell asleep.

Maybe she liked him, and she was realizing that now. Liked him for real. Like she hadn't liked someone since she was a naive little girl thinking some juvenile asshole could chase her demons away. That was dangerous.

She swallowed, wincing at the awful aftertaste of beer and morning breath, and turned her face into his neck, still groggy. "Morning," she murmured.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

It was hard to deny that he was attracted to Elle in a way that went beyond just physical attraction, not after last night. It was dangerous though, letting himself get attached to her like this. After all, getting attached to a woman had never ended up good for anyone in the past.

Part of him just wanted to think maybe this time would be different. Another part of him thought he was stupid for even considering the possibility could happen.

But he kept those thoughts to himself, forcing out a small smile as he looked down at her. She was finally stirring and awake. "Morning," He mumured softly in response.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She lifted her heavy eyes to trace his tight smile, and made one of her own, and then fell quiet. It didn't matter if she liked him, anyway. It wouldn't work out, because it never did. He wasn't a prince in shining armor, and she was certainly no princess, no damsel in distress. She took care of herself, and she didn't need anybody else.

Not him. Not friends. Not even that little imaginary puppy. She'd probably starve it by mistake, anyway.

She shifted, and untangled herself from him, even though she didn't want to move from his solid warmth. "I have to go to the bathroom," she said quietly, shivering at the cool air away from his body. It wasn't a lie. She did. "You can use my toothbrush if you want," she told him, padding across the room to the door.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He couldn't help but miss her weight a little as she got up from the bed, out of his arms. He knew it didn't mean anything (despite the fact that the time, it had felt like it meant everything) it was just a fling. She wasn't interested in him like that, and he wasn't interested in her either. There was a reason why he normally avoided relationships. Less people got hurt that way.

He grabbed his boxers as he got up, sliding them on. "Thank you," came his reply to her offer.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She didn't bother dressing, and glanced back from inside the bathroom, watching him pull on his boxers, a second too long. Something ached in her chest but she ignored it, closing the door with a quiet click to go to the bathroom and relieve herself. It was chilly, and she shuddered as she finished and got up, reaching for her toothbrush, her eyes flicking up to her reflection.

She almost looked sad. Disappointed. But that was stupid. He should get out of her bed, and put his clothes on. They had their fun.

It was just fun. Maybe.

A little forcefully, she stuck the brush into her mouth, and reached for the knob again, twisting and half expecting to find him gone. It wouldn't have been the first time.

Maybe it would be the first time it hurt, though.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

Gabriel had made his way to the doorway where they had abandoned most of their clothes the night before and was in the middle of pulling up his pants and zipping them up when he heard the bathroom door creak open, causing him to pause and glance back in Elle's direction. He didn't know why there was a sudden sting in his chest over the fact that he was leaving, but there was.

"I'll be leaving shortly," He finally called out, his words a little less sure than he had planned them to be. He didn't really want to leave, honestly, but he knew it was best that he did.

Besides, he doubted she wanted him to stay around or anything like that anyways.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She wanted to be able to say she didn't particularly care when she saw him standing at the door, pulling his pants on. Especially when he said he was leaving. For a moment, she just couldn't, and she hoped he didn't see what felt a lot like hurt pass over her features.

She brushed her teeth mechanically, and leaned against the frame, trying to make her face blank. She wouldn't ask him to stay. She would rather cut herself than give up her pride.

But that didn't mean she didn't think about it.

She turned around to spit out the toothpaste and rinse out her mouth, choosing to not even answer his words, acknowledge them verbally. Maybe if she ignored them they wouldn't hurt so much.

She straightened and held out the blue piece of plastic. "Here," she said, and her heart beat a little quicker, because she wanted him to come over and take it. Wanted him closer.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He did though. He saw that flash of pain across her face and it confused him. Did she want him to stay? He had just assumed that she wouldn't. Why would she?

He almost volunteered to stay, or offer to at least but he closed his mouth, swallowing his words. He couldn't get them out, somehow. He couldn't say them. It's not he cared if she was hurt or anything.

He made his way back over to her as she offered the toothbrush. He reached out and took it from her, his pulse racing as his fingers brushed against hers. He couldn't resist letting them linger there for a moment. Just a moment.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

A moment was enough to make her ache a little, remembering. Remembering all those little lingering touches from last night, too. Her eyes drew up to his, and she tried to keep her face blank, indifferent, uncaring. It shouldn't be so hard, really. She feigned emotion all the time.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He finally removed his hand, his own chest aching just a little as he did so. He tried to focus on just brushing his teeth for now. He didn't want to think about how...couply it was to use her toothbrush. Because it wasn't like that. No matter how much he wanted it to be.

It's not like he could afford a girlfriend. It would be too risky. And if she knew about the truth of him, she'd probably be disgusted and he'd probably have to kill her to keep her silent so what was the point in getting attached in the first place?

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

There was no point of getting attached, and she kept her back to him, standing still as he started to clean his mouth for a few, long seconds.

Men were dogs. Toys at best. None of them cared, and he clearly didn't either, did he? She had been through this before. So many times. They got what they wanted and they left. It was easier just to want one thing from them, too.

She wouldn't make him pretend it was something more. Ask him to stay when he didn't want to. He had said he was leaving, and he wouldn't be leaving if he didn't want to.

Elle swallowed thickly and walked into her room, grabbing up a pair of small, silky boxers shorts to pull on, and a t-shirt. She had work at the club tonight anyway. No reason to tie up her day.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

As he finished cleaning his teeth, he watched Elle dress from the corner of his eyes. He tried not think about how she had slowly undressed for him the night before, let him explore her body. They had just been drunk and horny, that's all.

Women never wanted him the way he wanted them anyways.

Still, as he spit into the sink and headed back into the bedroom to find his shirt he found himself hesitating. He really didn't want to leave just yet.

"...If you want, we could get breakfast or something," He found himself awkwardly offering.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She wanted to say yes. She did, but something annoying and awful was lodged in her throat. She kept her head down and stuffed her feet into her slippers, her words flat and angry in a way she hadn't planned. "You don't have to, Gabriel. You got what you wanted."

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He bristled and his body tensed at her tone. "I wouldn't have offered it if I didn't want to," His voice came out much more insulted than he originally planned. He would be lying if he said he wasn't a little hurt. It hadn't been easy for him, going out on a limb like that, despite his own instinct.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Elle felt a flare of indignation and disbelief and stupid hope rise in her chest, and it was enough to stop being pathetic and lift her head to meet his offended expression. She stared at him, her jaw tight, and resisted the urge to hug herself against the pressure in her chest, against his flashing eyes.

"You want to have breakfast with me?" she asked, flatly, seriously. "Why?"

She cursed the tremor in her voice.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Why?" He repeated, his voice still a little harsh, more of of defense than anything else, really. He took a deep breath, trying to still his racing heart beat before answering.

"Because I like you," He continued, his tone softer, gentler, and a lot more vulnerable now. "That's why."

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She stopped moving, shifting, breathing, and blinked at him, the hardness and hurt in her expression slowly softening as his words sunk in.

He looked like he meant them. He sounded like he meant them.

And that was even more terrifying than knowing she liked him--that he liked her, too. She sucked in a needy breath that made her feel naked and exposed, and wrapped her arms around herself without thinking this time.

"I, uhm," she murmured, her eyes fearful and pleading. "I want to have breakfast with you, too."

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He felt both relieved and even more nervous at her reply, if that was at all possible. From the accusation a moment ago, he hadn't expected her to actually want to do anything else with him. She had seemed to have her mind set on him.

Which left him a little confused at the moment.

He smiled weakly. "Do you want to go somewhere or just eat here?"

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She flushed, ashamed at his soft smile, at his question, and looked to the floor again. "It doesn't matter," she whispered, stumbling over her words painfully like a silly little girl. She hugged herself tighter and walked forward impulsively until she was against him, his cheek resting on his chest.

She was acting ridiculous, and she hated herself for it. She wasn't good at this.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Either way his fine with me," He murmured softly, wrapping his arms around her tightly, pulling her close. He wasn't very good at this either...whatever this was.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Her eyes closed, and she uncurled her arms to wrap them tight around his middle instead. He made her feel vulnerable. His words made her feel exposed, and just admitting to wanting to have breakfast with him threw her off-center. She swallowed thickly, not wanting to feel the gentle lightness in her chest. And wanting it so badly, too.

She was stronger than this.

"I want pancakes," she finally said softly.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Do you have the mix for them here, or will we need to go out to get them?" He asked curiously. He was actually a pretty good cook but he normally didn't do much of it. He never saw a point in only cooking for himself. But he liked the idea of cooking for her, and that terrified him.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

"I might have some," she replied, and leaned back enough to rest her chin on his chest, to gaze up at him searchingly.

She wasn't a good cook, but she had some essentials. She thought about making pancakes with him, smiling and laughing and kissing like some happy couple, right out of some cheesy commercial.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"If you do, I could make us some," He offered lightly, brushing some of her hair from her face.

He liked the idea of making her breakfast...like they were some kind of couple in a romantic comedy or something.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Her lashes fluttered at the gentle touch. It made her feel warm and tender inside, and it confused her. It scared her, how the look in his eyes made her feel not so clear-headed, or tough, or all-knowing. Made her doubt everything and want to believe he liked her. Wanted to like him back without knowing she would get hurt.

They were just pancakes, and she shouldn't feel like a girl with a crush because he said he'd make them for her. Shouldn't feel a small smile start to touch her lips, or lean into him like everything happening inside of her was normal. "I'd like that," she whispered.