(no subject)

[evolutionaryimperative]

Gabriel slept well for the first time in ages. His arms were wrapped around Elle's waist, keeping her close to him. Between the alcohol and the physical exertion he found himself sleeping in much later than he normally ever would. But eventually the sun pouring into the room caused him to stir, his eyes opening slowly.

It took him a moment to realize where he was. It wasn't his room. It wasn't even his apartment, which was strange because he pretty much never slept anywhere other than his apartment. But after a moment or two it came back to him. Running into Elle at the take out place, coming to her apartment, drinking the beers and barely eating. But what he remembered the most was the intense feeling between them, how they had explored each other's bodies so thoroughly.

He knew eventually she would stir and they would have to talk and it probably didn't mean anything in the long run but for now he just wanted to lie here a little longer, holding her close. Like they were more to one another than just casual acquaintances.

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[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He did though. He saw that flash of pain across her face and it confused him. Did she want him to stay? He had just assumed that she wouldn't. Why would she?

He almost volunteered to stay, or offer to at least but he closed his mouth, swallowing his words. He couldn't get them out, somehow. He couldn't say them. It's not he cared if she was hurt or anything.

He made his way back over to her as she offered the toothbrush. He reached out and took it from her, his pulse racing as his fingers brushed against hers. He couldn't resist letting them linger there for a moment. Just a moment.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

A moment was enough to make her ache a little, remembering. Remembering all those little lingering touches from last night, too. Her eyes drew up to his, and she tried to keep her face blank, indifferent, uncaring. It shouldn't be so hard, really. She feigned emotion all the time.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He finally removed his hand, his own chest aching just a little as he did so. He tried to focus on just brushing his teeth for now. He didn't want to think about how...couply it was to use her toothbrush. Because it wasn't like that. No matter how much he wanted it to be.

It's not like he could afford a girlfriend. It would be too risky. And if she knew about the truth of him, she'd probably be disgusted and he'd probably have to kill her to keep her silent so what was the point in getting attached in the first place?

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

There was no point of getting attached, and she kept her back to him, standing still as he started to clean his mouth for a few, long seconds.

Men were dogs. Toys at best. None of them cared, and he clearly didn't either, did he? She had been through this before. So many times. They got what they wanted and they left. It was easier just to want one thing from them, too.

She wouldn't make him pretend it was something more. Ask him to stay when he didn't want to. He had said he was leaving, and he wouldn't be leaving if he didn't want to.

Elle swallowed thickly and walked into her room, grabbing up a pair of small, silky boxers shorts to pull on, and a t-shirt. She had work at the club tonight anyway. No reason to tie up her day.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

As he finished cleaning his teeth, he watched Elle dress from the corner of his eyes. He tried not think about how she had slowly undressed for him the night before, let him explore her body. They had just been drunk and horny, that's all.

Women never wanted him the way he wanted them anyways.

Still, as he spit into the sink and headed back into the bedroom to find his shirt he found himself hesitating. He really didn't want to leave just yet.

"...If you want, we could get breakfast or something," He found himself awkwardly offering.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She wanted to say yes. She did, but something annoying and awful was lodged in her throat. She kept her head down and stuffed her feet into her slippers, her words flat and angry in a way she hadn't planned. "You don't have to, Gabriel. You got what you wanted."

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He bristled and his body tensed at her tone. "I wouldn't have offered it if I didn't want to," His voice came out much more insulted than he originally planned. He would be lying if he said he wasn't a little hurt. It hadn't been easy for him, going out on a limb like that, despite his own instinct.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Elle felt a flare of indignation and disbelief and stupid hope rise in her chest, and it was enough to stop being pathetic and lift her head to meet his offended expression. She stared at him, her jaw tight, and resisted the urge to hug herself against the pressure in her chest, against his flashing eyes.

"You want to have breakfast with me?" she asked, flatly, seriously. "Why?"

She cursed the tremor in her voice.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Why?" He repeated, his voice still a little harsh, more of of defense than anything else, really. He took a deep breath, trying to still his racing heart beat before answering.

"Because I like you," He continued, his tone softer, gentler, and a lot more vulnerable now. "That's why."

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She stopped moving, shifting, breathing, and blinked at him, the hardness and hurt in her expression slowly softening as his words sunk in.

He looked like he meant them. He sounded like he meant them.

And that was even more terrifying than knowing she liked him--that he liked her, too. She sucked in a needy breath that made her feel naked and exposed, and wrapped her arms around herself without thinking this time.

"I, uhm," she murmured, her eyes fearful and pleading. "I want to have breakfast with you, too."

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He felt both relieved and even more nervous at her reply, if that was at all possible. From the accusation a moment ago, he hadn't expected her to actually want to do anything else with him. She had seemed to have her mind set on him.

Which left him a little confused at the moment.

He smiled weakly. "Do you want to go somewhere or just eat here?"

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She flushed, ashamed at his soft smile, at his question, and looked to the floor again. "It doesn't matter," she whispered, stumbling over her words painfully like a silly little girl. She hugged herself tighter and walked forward impulsively until she was against him, his cheek resting on his chest.

She was acting ridiculous, and she hated herself for it. She wasn't good at this.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Either way his fine with me," He murmured softly, wrapping his arms around her tightly, pulling her close. He wasn't very good at this either...whatever this was.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Her eyes closed, and she uncurled her arms to wrap them tight around his middle instead. He made her feel vulnerable. His words made her feel exposed, and just admitting to wanting to have breakfast with him threw her off-center. She swallowed thickly, not wanting to feel the gentle lightness in her chest. And wanting it so badly, too.

She was stronger than this.

"I want pancakes," she finally said softly.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Do you have the mix for them here, or will we need to go out to get them?" He asked curiously. He was actually a pretty good cook but he normally didn't do much of it. He never saw a point in only cooking for himself. But he liked the idea of cooking for her, and that terrified him.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

"I might have some," she replied, and leaned back enough to rest her chin on his chest, to gaze up at him searchingly.

She wasn't a good cook, but she had some essentials. She thought about making pancakes with him, smiling and laughing and kissing like some happy couple, right out of some cheesy commercial.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"If you do, I could make us some," He offered lightly, brushing some of her hair from her face.

He liked the idea of making her breakfast...like they were some kind of couple in a romantic comedy or something.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

Her lashes fluttered at the gentle touch. It made her feel warm and tender inside, and it confused her. It scared her, how the look in his eyes made her feel not so clear-headed, or tough, or all-knowing. Made her doubt everything and want to believe he liked her. Wanted to like him back without knowing she would get hurt.

They were just pancakes, and she shouldn't feel like a girl with a crush because he said he'd make them for her. Shouldn't feel a small smile start to touch her lips, or lean into him like everything happening inside of her was normal. "I'd like that," she whispered.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"I haven't cooked for someone in a long time," He admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. He hadn't. He hadn't bothered. But he wanted to bother with Elle. He wanted to believe she wouldn't just end up a dead corpse like all the rest of them have. Maybe it would be different this time.

He could hope, right?

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She didn't want to hope, but she felt the small glow in her chest anyway. She didn't want to hope that he was different than all the others. That this was special.

She had to stop thinking about it so much. She knew she did, before she got more silly ideas in her head. It was what it was, right? Whatever it was.

"I'll forgive you if it's awful," she teased in a soft murmur. "It would be worse if I tried."

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Oh?" He asked curiously, a playful grin tugging at his lips. It was surprisingly easy to drop his normal somber expressions when he was around Elle. He didn't know why, but it was. Which worried him a little. He relied on those expressions, that mask.

It was dangerous to let that mask drop.

"Are you some kind of terrible cook or something?"

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She brightened a little at his almost smile, the lightness in it. It made her relax--that he was relaxed--just enough to run her hands up and down his bare back--slowly, and tentatively, as if she had never touched him before.

Maybe it felt like that because she had never admitted to herself it did mean something, touching him.

"I can make cereal," she smiled. "And popcorn. But my specialty is microwavable pizza."

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

He chuckled softly at her response. "It's amazing you still have such a great figure if you're living off such a terrible diet," He teased lightly.

He knew they would eventually have to go to the kitchen if they wanted to actually eat, but it was nice just standing here, holding her.

[electrocutesy.livejournal.com]

She giggled, and leaned up on her toes to nudge her nose against his. "I work out," she murmured. Really, she was in no hurry to move.

[specialmonster.livejournal.com]

"Is that your secret?" He asked, leaning down to press a playful kiss at the corner of her lips. Because he could. Because he wanted to. He liked kissing her. He liked it more than he should.